WOW! i’m utterly speechless after spending the last few hours serving Princess Sierra. It’s pretty crazy, i’ve served here a few times in the past and obviously felt how dangerous & powerful She can be. For that very reason despite being a HUGE fan of Her site and blog for years i have always kept fairly guarded and tried suppress the need to serve. Certainly it’s not because Princess Sierra is not deserving of being served and showered with gifts & cash, it’s quite the opposite, it’s because of just how addicting and amazing it feels to be around Her, to serve Her that makes it .
Everything come unstuck tonight as what started as a simple tribute to Her superiority become a whole lot more. Princess told me that it would feel too good and i’d keep doing it and She was right, piece by piece while chatting and just staring at Her beautiful avatar i was compelled to send more & more & more and so on. It’s nearly impossible to put into words what i was going through, part of me wanted so bad to just embrace the addiction to Her but another part, a more selfish, self preserving part wanted desperately to run while i could. The main problem was i just couldn’t actually leave Her presence and the more time i was around Her, the more needing of Her i become.
It’s certainly very strange to need someone as bad as i did, i can’t say i’ve ever felt even close to this, the torment, the rewarding feeling of serving Princess Sierra and embracing things in a manner that suits Her. Basically it was a real feeling of helplessness because despite my brain telling me to get out of there i just couldn’t and deep down i guess i NEEDED to keep going even though the level of pain was growing financially.
Eventually i did get to the point where my brain said no more as i’ve started sending my rent money but a few words of encouragement from Princess Sierra and just like that, another $100 for Princess. i don’t know exactly what it is, when She encourages me, prods me in Her special way but it just makes it impossible not to do as She wants. Scariest part about all that is it’s Princess typing through yahoo and it makes me feel so under Her thumb, on another occasion She said i’d be calling Her sometime in the future it actually scared the hell out of me because to put it simply i’m spineless for Princess Sierra, i’m not a challenge at all when She asserts Herself.
So now my bank account is pretty much drained and it’s all with Princess Sierra. The scariest part about that is i am grateful to Her for helping me get that all to Her even though its going to cause hardship. Even more strange is that all i want to do is keep sending more. There’s no doubt that tonight crossed some real barriers for me, where to next? i have no idea but i’m excited, freaked out, nervous all at once especially since it’s become extremely clear that Princess Sierra can easily manipulate me into anything without even trying.